Verse of the Day - Proverbs 25:20

Singing cheerful songs to a person with a heavy heart is like taking someone’s coat in cold weather or pouring vinegar in a wound. ~ Proverbs 25:20 (NLT)

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Isn't it just like us to want to cheer people up?

We hate to see people sad and in the dumps. We say, "Cheer up!", and "Don't worry -- be happy!", or we tell jokes -- anything to lift people out of their sadness. But God's word tells us what we really already know, from experience -- yet forget when it's not happening to us . . . a heavy heart has a hard time accepting cheer. It can hurt almost like being cut with a knife.

At the hospital where I work, the lobby has a sunken waiting area for family and friends who await word of their loved ones' surgeries. A co-worker has called it "The Pit of Equality", because no matter who you are, everyone in that pit is in the same place...waiting, wondering, worrying, praying. On occasion, you'll see some smiles in "the pit", but for the most part, people there look frightened and somber. They definitely fit the bill of a heavy heart. So, I try to be very conscious of my demeanor when passing through the lobby. I try to honor their heavy hearts with a subdued countenance, not wanting to put "vinegar" in their wounds. Unfortunately, not all workers are sensitive to the needs of patients' loved ones in the pit. It hurts me when I see and hear hospital staff getting off their shift, walking through the lobby with loud laughter, telling the latest joke and talking boisterously about their weekend plans. I'm sure that the heavy hearts just want to scream, "Shut up! Can't you see I'm in pain, here?!"

At funerals, although sometimes we might hear a request from the family not to wear black because they want to consider it a celebration of their loved one's life, I choose to moderate my wardrobe selection with muted tones, because although the family may want to be "up", I know they're grieving. To me, a loud, yellow floral blouse to signify a big happy face just screams insensitivity to the hurting. But that's just me.

Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. ~ Romans 12:15 (NLT)

People need to process emotions, and we often want to pass over the difficult ones. They make us uncomfortable when others go through them, so we try to act like they don't exist, or try to give the hurting a free pass on the bullet train to whiz right past what they're going through. But it doesn't work, and often makes the hurting person feel worse. Glossing over the pain of a heavy heart may seem like a loving thing to do, but real love will shed tears with those who are crying.

We need to exercise love in ways that can reach down to the heavy heart. Rather than looking down from your cheery high place with an extended hand, perhaps God is saying Go down into the pit and sit with them, where they are. Be willing to feel their hurt and cry with them. Knowing they have a friend in the midst of their pain can help more than a joke or a song. Are you willing to go through their pain with them?

That's a hard question to answer, isn't it? None of us wants to go through heavy heart times ourselves, let alone share in someone else's emotional lows. But that is the heart of God, to walk through the valley of the shadow of death with people.

Vinegar can taste good in a salad dressing, but it can sting like crazy in an open cut. Let's be willing to be God's hands and feet with the heavy hearts around us, to seek God's guidance in how best to administer His love to the hurting. May we be like healing ointment, as we mourn with those who mourn, yet at the same time offering them hope in God's deep love.

Love,
Joelene