My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. ~ James 1:19-20 (NIV)
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For some, who are shy, this verse could seem very easy to apply. For others, like me who are outgoing, we have a tougher time with this. It's a known fact that I'm a talker, and for those who know me personally, I apologize upfront. I don't mean to monopolize conversations. I don't really just want to hear my own voice. I don't know what it is -- I feel like God has wired me this way, but I don't always use that wiring in a godly manner. Hence, James' admonition.
Perhaps it's true for many -- do we really listen to people when they talk? Or are we caught up in a whirlwind of thoughts in our mind about the emotional aspect of the discussion, what we're going to say to rebut, or getting affixed on that piece of broccoli stuck in the other person's teeth?
We usually want to be heard. So why are we sometimes slow to let others be heard? Even if we have good intentions to let someone talk, they get going, and before we know it, we've interrupted them with some thought, or piece of advice, or it gets heated and we yell something and leave. Wow, now wasn't that a productive, healthy, adult conversation, huh?
Self simply does not listen. Self talks and talks and talks. Self demands. Self insults. Self interrupts. Self is selfish and doesn't care about others' thoughts and concerns, so conversations become one-sided dissertations and rants. Self = monologue.
No wonder God says, "shut up, and listen!" He knows we're prone to pedestalize ourselves, so keeping the talk to a minimum and the listening to a maximum helps keep that in check. It helps us realize that we really don't know it all, that we can learn something from other people. It helps us keep balance in our relationships, so that everyone has a voice to express what's on their heart and mind.
Yet becoming a good listener is more than just not talking yourself. It's being concerned for the other person who is talking and really taking in what they're saying. If you ask God for wisdom in your conversations and truly listen, He will give you the timing and the words to speak encouragement and counsel, if needed. Then again, maybe no words on your part are even necessary. Sometimes a sounding board is really all people need to help make sense of a situation or unload some emotional junk that's been stored up.
What if we all decided to be quick to listen and slow to speak today? What if we really looked people in the eye when they talked and listened from our hearts? What if we kept our mouths closed and let God be the giver of our words? Hmm...
Love,
Joelene
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